the backwards prayer

My heart is not proud, O Lord, my eyes are not haughty;

I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.

But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother,

like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore. (NIV, 1981) 

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high;

I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me.

But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother;

like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, hope in the Lord from this time forth and forevermore. (ESV)

God, I'm not trying to rule the roost, I don't want to be king of the mountain.

I haven't meddled where I have no business or fantasized grandiose plans.

I've kept my feet on the ground, I've cultivated a quiet heart.

Like a baby content in its mother's arms, my soul is a baby content.

Wait, Israel, for God.  Wait with hope.  Hope now; hope always. (MSG)

Lord, my heart has not been haughty, nor have my eyes looked too high,

nor have I striven for great things, nor for things too wondrous for me.

But I have calmed and contented myself like a weaned babe on its mother--

like a weaned babe I am with myself.

Wait, O Israel, for the Lord, now and forevermore. (The Book of Psalms by Robert Alter)

Do not be high, my soul, but be lowly.

Do not try to be great, but be least.

Do not try to rule, but to serve.

Do not try to be first, but to be last.

Do not try to be somebody, but become nobody.

Do not be busy and loud, but be still and quiet.

Do not be strong and independent, but become like a weaned child.

Do not hope in yourself, but hope in the Lord. (JLB, October, 2026)

i can't

until we move from

i can to i can't

we will never know

God's power

until we realize

our desperate need

we will never know

God's mercy

until we recognize

our own helplessness

we will never know

God's sufficiency

until we come to 

the end of our rope

we will never fully

depend on God alone

 

diminishment

Diminishment: lessening, shrinking, becoming or making something smaller, less, or lower in size, amount, or importance.

diminishment is 

an arduous friend

a severe mercy

a costly grace

it is the hard road

that leads to life

a life of lessening

so that God can

become more

a kind of death that 

leads to resurrection

a weakness that

reveals his strength

a powerlessness that

displays his power

it is an invitation to grace

an alignment with

the paschal mystery

an emptying that makes 

room for fullness

a purging that results

in a deepening

a letting go that brings about

a being taken hold of

a decreasing so that

he might increase

it is how God

grows his life in us

growth through

diminishment

so help me, O Lord

to embrace it

rather than resist it

        i have

         been

crucified with Christ

and i no longer live

          but

       Christ

        lives

        in me

the jesus way

"For you know the grace 

of our Lord Jesus Christ, 

that though he was rich, 

yet for your sakes 

he became poor, 

so that you through his poverty 

might become rich." 2 Cor. 8:9

we only come to understand 

richness through poverty

strength through weakness

wholeness through brokenness

healing through vulnerability

it's the jesus way

life-breath

"Like a weaned child is my soul within me." Psalm 131:2

If my soul really is my life-breath, the way the saints and scholars say it is, then the big question becomes, where am I trying to draw my life-breath from?  From God, the sole source of that breath, or from other people, places, and things?  If it is from others, then I am never going to be the non-anxious presence in this world that God wants me to be because I will constantly be worried about where my next breath is coming from.

O Lord, help me to always draw my life-breath from you.

rock or stumbling block

     "But what about you?  Who do you say I am?"

     Simon Peter answered, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."

     Jesus replied, "Blessed are you Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven.  And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church."

     From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, chief priests, and teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.

     Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, "Never, Lord!" he said.  "This shall never happen to you!"

     Jesus turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan!  You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men."

(Matthew 16:13-18, 21-23) 

How do I move from rock to stumbling block?  By making it about me.  By operating out of my strength and expertise rather than my weakness and dependence.  By having in mind the things of men rather than the things of God.  By losing touch with the big picture and getting all wrapped up in my own little story.  By being full of myself rather than denying myself.  By avoiding my cross rather than taking up my cross.  By trying to save my life rather than being willing to lose my life. 

O Lord, help me to be a rock, not a stumbling block.

vulnerable

"The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.  We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth." ~John 1:14

when you step out and 

put your heart on your sleeve

you open yourself up in a 

beautiful and perilous way

to be the object of abuse 

and laughter and scorn

or the creator of space 

for others to feel seen 

and safe and known

it's risky to be sure

but a risk worth taking

if its reward is real life

the Word became flesh and 

made his dwelling among us

He emptied himself and 

made himself nothing

God took on vulnerability

who could've imagined

the degree to which

God was willing to go

to connect with the broken

vulnerability makes good space 

for love to enter in unless 

there are strings attached

may we do likewise and 

enter into a vulnerability

without strings that makes 

space for love and says 

yes to the vulnerable