last

When we start to think we are more deserving of the attention, affection, recognition, or renumeration that others are getting, we need to pay careful attention.  Because we are falling into the trap of comparison, which never turns out well in terms of the kingdom.

On the one hand, we see people we don’t think we’re as good as, which makes us incredibly insecure.  And on the other hand, we see people that we think we’re better than (sadly) but who are getting more recognition, affection, or renumeration than we are, which makes us frustrated, envious, and jealous.  It’s a no-win game.

So, Jesus comes along and tells a story (Matthew 20:1-16) to show us what kingdom living is really all about.  And the point of the story is this: In the kingdom of God the first are last and the last are first.  Walking with God is not about jockeying and posturing, but about going to the back of the line.  It’s about lifting others above ourselves.  It’s about celebrating others, not competing or comparing.  At the back of the line is where we will find Jesus.

So, try reading Matthew 20:1-16 and see where you find yourself in this story.  Ask God what he wants to say to you about it.  It might surprise you like it did me.

Lord Jesus, help us to know the beauty and the joy of making ourselves last, less, and least.

leaving the jar behind

Then, leaving her water jar...

~John 4:28

An empty water jar lying on the ground.

An outward sign of an inner transformation.

Evidence of a life, which was once empty,

But has now become filled to overflowing.

When freedom finally becomes a reality,

Certain things are left behind.

When I am truly free, O God,

What will I have left behind?

ḥeseḏ

“Have mercy on me, O God, 

according to your unfailing love; 

according to your great compassion 

blot out my transgressions.  

Wash away all my iniquity 

and cleanse me from my sin.” 

(Psalm 51:1-2)

even our deepest sin

can’t cause God’s 

love to fail or his 

affection to wane.  

dancing with jesus

jesus

thank you for teaching me

how to dance with you

it is our dance and it is

unique and sacred

and beautiful

it is not the way

others dance with you

and that 's okay

this is our way and 

it is sweet and intimate

thank you for dancing with me

a new song

he put a new song

in my mouth ~psalm 40:3

what is this new song

you have put in my mouth 

a song of delight and affection

a song of beauty and of life

i have a sneaking suspicion

it's a song about you and not me

help me to sing it well

forgiveness

when i am finally okay

with not being okay

then i am truly free

 

when i’ve received the

forgiveness you offer me

and offer it to others in return

i can finally forgive myself

and not be stuck any longer

in the gravitational pull of

my own faults and blunders

 

i can finally break free

from the chains that bind

and hold me back from

the life i was made for

 

i can soar into the heavens

on the winds of your breath

forgiven and forgiving and free

waiting for the Lord

“Our soul waits for the Lord.” (Psalm 33:20, ESV)

Waiting for the Lord is a key aspect of walking with God.  He is the one who sets the tone, the pace, and the agenda, not us.  Thus, waiting for the Lord teaches us to walk with him and not charge ahead of him. 

Somehow, however, waiting has become synonymous with doing nothing or with nothing happening.  But nothing could be further from the truth.  We don’t wait because nothing is happening; we wait because something is already happening.  God is at work and we are just trying to hold space for him to do what only he can do.

Therefore, waiting is not passive but active.  It requires being fully present and paying careful attention.  It is about trust and openness and yieldedness.  It is about surrendering our will and our ways to him.

Waiting for the Lord is not about disengagement, but about engagement of the highest order.  It is not about disconnection, but deep, intimate connection.  It is not about enduring God’s absence but engaging his presence.   

Waiting is where transformation takes place.  It’s not about trying to transform ourselves, it’s about him forming his very life within us.  Waiting is life in the cocoon, the womb, the tomb, the belly of the whale.  It’s where our life ends and his life within us, among us, and through us begins.