the holiness of the ordinary

the sun paints the morning sky

filling its daily canvas with hues

of pink and orange and red

a masterpiece on display for all to see

an open invitation for all who choose

to say yes and to stop and to look

there is beauty in daily life

profundity waiting to be unearthed

like treasure hidden in a field

each day a showcase of mystery

each moment an invitation to 

engage the holiness of the ordinary

which is not really ordinary at all

but it must first 

be recognized

in order to be seen

and it must be seen 

in order to be 

fully appreciated

but that takes time

it is hard to pay attention on the run

it is difficult to notice in a hurry

slowing down is a key element

savoring only happens slowly

if we want to fully taste

all that the now has to offer

it will require something of us

are we willing to give that something

anxiety

it doesn't take much

to send me down 

the rabbit hole

to start the chorus

of voices within

holding me captive

to their what ifs 

and oh noes

creating one

worst case scenario

after another

once the wheel is spun

it takes forever for it

to come to rest again

almost impossible to stop

i have become its victim

helplessly watching

breathlessly worrying

it has its way with me

until finally it chooses

to release its grip

then the wheel finally stops

until the trigger is pulled again

it doesn't take much

homecoming

hang on to hope beloved

all is not lost

i am working deeply

in ways you cannot yet see 

those walking in darkness

will see a great light

those traveling through

the valley of the shadow

will find light and hope

for i walk beside them

even if they are unaware

those who toil in the pigpen

will come to their senses

and head for home

they will remember 

where they belong

and to whom they belong

and will come back

so stand on the porch

and keep watching

keep waiting

and keep hoping

get ready to celebrate

because that day will come

trying too hard too

trying too hard 

is exhausting

jockeying to be seen

working to be known

proving my worth

longing to be essential

desperate to be needed

why am i always

trying to prove

what am i always

trying to prove

pressured to perform

climbing to nowhere

then you come and 

invite me to lay it all aside

for in your eyes there is 

no need to prove or perform

no climbing to be great

no jockeying to be seen

the pressure is off

all there is to do is to be

i don't have to be enough

because You already are

dancing with God

somehow the music started

before i even recognized it

you drew me onto the floor

and taught me how to dance

embracing me in your arms

you drew me close

you whispered in my ear

you moved me sweetly

into the rhythms of your love

you showed me the steps

you taught me to hear

the music of your affection

you taught me to move in

perfect harmony with you

leading me as i follow

for our dance is like no other

and yet somehow like all others

only after you drew me into

the cosmic intimacy of the dance

did i begin to understand

how mysterious and magical

how intimate and passionate

living union with you can be
more magical than imaginable

so i will continue

to dance with you

today and every day

for the rest of my days

and on into eternity

big need, big cross, big love

“Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much.  But he who has been forgiven little loves little.” (Luke 7:47) In reality, no one has been forgiven little, some just think they have.  The beauty of the gospel is that only when we know how big our need for forgiveness is, will we ever be able to comprehend how big the cross is, and how big the love of God is.  Big need leads to a big cross, which leads to a big love—a bigger love from God, a bigger love for God, and a bigger love for others.  God’s love becomes bigger than we could have ever asked or imagined.

By contrast, the Pharisees had a small love because of how small they perceived their need to be.  They spent their whole lives trying to reduce their need and had somehow convinced themselves that they had succeeded.  But all it did was make them judge more and love less.  Sound familiar?  It does to me.

Most of us think the goal of spiritual life is to reduce the gap between us and God.  We think that if we can just be better and perform better then we might get closer to him.  But the truth is that the older we get, and the more we get to know God, the larger the gap gets rather than the smaller.  Thus, the cross does not get smaller and smaller but bigger and bigger.  And the bigger the cross gets, the bigger love gets.  The bigger the cross gets the more we realize how wide and long and high and deep is the love of God, which makes our love for him grow in return.  We love because he first loved us.  That’s what the “sinful” woman had learned that the Pharisees had not.  Let’s be like her and not like them.

Lord Jesus, thank you that those who have been forgiven much love much.  Help us to see the enormity of your forgiveness so that we might also see the enormity of your amazing love.

trying too hard

“I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me.” (Psalm 131:2)

We put so much pressure on ourselves to make things happen in life and in ministry, when the only thing we can really do is let them happen.  God is the only one who can make things happen.  We cannot take personal responsibility for things that only he can do, and yet we do it all the time.  No wonder we’re so tired and weary.  But that’s not where it stops, it also leads to other issues.  Issues like busyness, overwork, fatigue, anxiety, insecurity, and burnout, just to name a few.  It is not healthy when we begin to see ourselves as both essential and indispensable to a process that is ultimately all up to God.  In fact, it makes us the worst version of ourselves: manipulative and demanding, always pressing and pushing and forcing.  We live afraid that it's all up to us and terrified that it's not, all at the same time.  Sadly, there's a part of us that actually wants to be essential and indispensable.

If only we could learn the wisdom of this ancient prayer.  If only we could let go of our stubborn pride and arrogant self-sufficiency.  If only we could release our desperate need to be needed and our deep longing to be significant.  If only we could be free from all our compulsions and obsessions and become still and quiet before God.  Then we might finally find ourselves in the loving embrace of our Savior and put our hope fully in him.  Then we might finally be the non-anxious presence this world needs us to be.