waiting

...Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit.  And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly.  But when he had considered this, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying...Matthew 1:18-20


I wonder how long you made Joseph wait in that agonizing tension before you told him your plan?  And what was it you were trying to accomplish in the midst of his struggling and wrestling?  Were you trying to teach him to pray?  Were you building his character? Testing his faith?  Were you increasing his groaning, because it would make the soil of his soul so very fertile and receptive?  Was the time of struggle designed to increase the depths of his gratitude once you finally told him the truth?  Was it to test his love for Mary, the mother of your Son?  Was it to test his love for You?  What was that awful, struggle-filled waiting meant to do in him?  What is it meant to do in me?  How am I like Joseph, looking at an apparently no-win situation and trusting you to somehow show up in the middle of it?  To help me begin to make sense of it?  Where am I desperately waiting for you to arrive?