wheat and chaff

some would say it's simple
an either-or proposition
but i think there might be
far more to it than that
there might also be
an element of both-and

all i have to do
is look within me
to realize that i am
but a sad combination
of wheat and chaff
grain and weed
fruit and thorn
beauty and blemish
good and bad

i am an enigma
an assorted jumble
of that which is worthy
of being gathered and harvested
and that which is worthy only
of being tossed into the fire

and unfortunately
i have grown
far too comfortable
with this dichotomy
far too accommodating
to this enemy of my soul
somehow i have made room
for it to exist unchallenged
and even accepted

but life with God
requires more of me
than resignation
the wheat and chaff
must not coexist
at some point
there has be a separation
of the two
and then a destruction
of that which is contrary
to the life that God
wants to live
in and through me

so maybe i should pray
that your winnowing fork
would fall on me
as terrible as that sounds
as much as it terrifies me
to pray such a thing
for only then will
my inner conflict
be resolved
only then will that
which is of you within me
and that which is not of you
be separated and culminated

O Lord God
master thresher
take away the chaff in me
until only wheat remains
for until then
i can only be
a sad combination
of wheat and chaff




Holy God, you promised the renewing presence of your Holy Spirit , and today I ask you to fill me again.  Renew my life, deepen in me a humble repentance for my sins, and empower me to pursue a holy life.  May your beauty in my life be obvious to all.  Amen. (Seeking God's Face by Philip Reinders)