trust

Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever.  As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds his people both now and forevermore. (Psalm 125:1-2, NIV)

If being shaken is the number one way on knowing whether or not we are really trusting in the Lord, I’m in big trouble.  I mean, I get shaken all the time.  My anxiety shakes me.  My insecurity shakes me.  My circumstances shake me.  The list goes on and on.  Does that mean I am not really trusting in the Lord?  Maybe, maybe not.

I think the thing I’m learning about trust is that it is not a one and done type of thing, but a continual process.  I might be able to trust God fully with one thing and then not really trust him with something else.  I might be able to trust him one minute, and then not the next.  The key seems to be in the turning—turning back to him, time and time again.  The word for trust in the Hebrew is batach, which means to hie for refuge.  To run to him again and again and again.  Don’t get me wrong, I do think that there is a way to live in God to the point where we are able to trust him in all things; I just haven’t arrived there quite yet.

So for me, as I learn to live more and more in him, it is a process of running to him in every situation and circumstance.  It is a choice I must make each and every time something comes along that disrupts my life or challenges my faith.  Who knows, maybe through running to him over and over and over, I will eventually learn to never leave.  I will eventually learn that I cannot handle this life on my own, and I should stop trying to do so.  Maybe someday trust will be something I do naturally, rather than something I have to remind myself to choose.  In the meantime, I guess I will just keep myself running back to him.

O Lord, it is easy for me to say that I trust you, but my anxiety and insecurity continually tell me otherwise.  Help me to REALLY trust in you, for only then will I REALLY have your peace.  Amen.